Friday, May 7, 2010

a morning of tears...the good kind

I've had many Mother's Days...some sad( the many Mother's days where I wasn't yet a mom to a baby here on earth) and many happy ones ( ones where I celebrate being a Mom, and being thankful for the Mom I am blessed with).
Today was a celebration of Mother's Day in Logan's Kindergarten class at DC, I wasn't really expecting so many tears on a *happy* day. But sometimes they sneek up on you like that.
Lots of feelings today ( and it's not even Mother's Day yet!)...
Today was a 1st for me, funny that Logan is our 1st Kindergartener at DC when he has two older sisters. They were homeschooled. Girls ya kinda wanna keep home for as long as possible, boys you are ready to kick out the door as soon as they offer a class for them! Did I just write that?
Logan holds a special place in our hearts, as each one of our children do ( they have their own little corner).
Madelyn was our 1st miracle daughter after two losses, Emma was our 2nd miracle baby when we were preparing for another journey of losses. And Clayton was almost not to be. After Logan was preparing his own special way into this world, out of fear, i signed papers saying " Tie them, cut them! I can't do this again, no more babies coming so early, we are done!"
God quickly used my wise doc who showed me I was making this BIG decision out of fear, and seeing the truth in that, we ripped up those papers. Clayton surprised us almost exactly 2 years later!
And then there is Logan, our 1st boy. We tried extra long for Logan, lots of $ and tears went into bringing him into this world. We knew God had something extra special planned for him too! When you think he will never come, and then during that wait he decides he will come 10 weeks early, well it's got to be one of the most frightening things a mother can go through. Spending a month in the hosptital with your son is a time of bonding that I wasn't blessed with my other children.

I can't believe this was 6 years ago!!! Where does the time go?
Today in his class there was a feast prepared for the Moms. I peeked in the window from the hallway( way up on my tip-toes) to see them practicing their song. I couldn't wait to see what they would do.
The kids came out into the hall to welcome their moms into their classroom. I was escorted by a VERY handsome young man who walked over to his table and pulled out a chair for me to sit in. As I sat down with this young man in front of me, I felt the tears on their way. GEEZ!! I'm a sap!!
I have to say, and as I go own you will see, that Mrs.Ruth has got to be THE BEST TEACHER ever! I'm actually praying that by some miracle with in the DC school system's administration ( I think I have a good connection there), that she could go ahead and follow Logan along as his teacher through his senior year! PERFECT!!!
She opened up our time in prayer and welcomed in her sweet daughter who is a Jr. at DC who BEAUTIFULLY played the flute for us while we ate. Again, tears were held back.
I know it sounds silly, but even right down to the Vanilla flavored coffee available, well, it was a true blessing and act of love that was heard loud and clear.
After our yummy treats, Mrs.Ruth stood up to read a book to us...oh yes, I walked straight over to the tissue box..darn it all!! Let Me Hold You Longer by Karen yea, I could have just have had the TITLE read to me and that would have been plenty, oh no, somehow SHE made it though the entire book. And by that time, my eye makeup was GONE!
And here's the BEST PART.... the part that reminds me everyday, THIS is why we do what we do to have our children be blessed by DC....
Mrs Ruth closed the book and bowed her head in prayer, she purposefully walked around each table and laid her precious, hard working, loving hands on each shoulder of each Mom in the classroom. She prayed for each family, each home, each child, each Mom.
There wasn't a dry eye, well excpet for the kids...Logan leaned over and in a whisper as she said *Amen* he said "uh Mom, why is everyone crying?"....because we love you buddy! "why is Mrs.Ruth crying?"...because she loves you too.
And in case you are wondering...YES, I am crying again just writing this!
The kids then walked up to the front of class and they sang to us, the song they had been practicing..."you are the King of kings, Lord of lords, you are the Great I Am...."
It all made sense again...watching my miracle little buddy, singing to Jesus in his classroom!!!

There isn't anything better than seeing your child love Jesus!
It's yet again, another clear reminder...THIS is why we do what we do...THIS is why the teachers at DC do what they do...THIS is why we know it's OK that we can't do the big summer vacation thing, it's why it's OK that we sometimes have just pancakes for dinner, it's why it's OK that our van is living on a prayer (again)'s all ok. Why? Because our children see Jesus with skin on EVERY DAY at DC. It's days like this that I KNOW it's all worth it.
Mrs. Ruth praying for Logan on his 6th Birthday!

Mrs.Ruth had the kids draw a picture of their Moms...Logan and his drawing of me :)

And this is Logan and I AFTER the Mother's Tea...minus all my eye make-up! :)