my $200 pedicure...oops

As most things do, my impromtu pedicure with close friends started out so innocently. Can I just tell you that this is my SECOND pedicure of my life! How sad is that! Now I know why...





I can't say that I didn't enjoy it, in fact there were moments of pure bliss. The massage chair was amazing, the pounding, kneading and beating were heavenly; not so much the shaking (I'll tell ya why in a moment).





The sweet girls ( and one guy) who work there were smily and kind. Even though I'm convinced that they do talk to each other in their beautiful soft spoken language about how nasty this lady's feet are and how they wish they could wear a mask, but adding one on now might look suspicious. So they might be encouraging each other to press on as they shave away the dead skin, and just breath through your mouth. No really, my feet were *that* dry...but I do have to say they weren't stinky. I did make it a point to take a foot bath before I went. I had to shave my negleted hairy legs ( sorry Nate). I would hate for the sweet girl to have to deal with the jungle and have her hands overly exfoliated because I haven't shaved my legs for 3 days (okay, more like 6-ish). Seeing that this was only my 2nd pedi, I hadn't remembered that they do wear latex gloves. However if I would have forgo-ed (btw, why does Chris Harrison ALWAYS use that word on his note about the fantasy suite? always!) my weekly shave and left my legs as-is, I believe she would have had to upgrade to the garden gloves, maybe even the Roofing Glove.











Ok so onto the pedi it's self... it was 4 of us together, a GNO (as HM would sing/say). We each upgraded to the SIGNATURE PEDI...nice. Some of us also opted to add on a $3 fee to have them shave off the dead skin...SCARY! With this procedure there are extra tools invloved, some are a heavier version of an emery board and then there was what was used on Jan's feet. Basically it was a hand held cheese grader...any Fresh Parmesan Cheese with your Salad??? When the girl SHOWS you the skin that she has removed from your foot...you know it's a big deal.





I'm pretty sure there is a chart in the back room there, a dead skin chart. She was quite proud of herself, I belived the manager had to verify the official amount before it was charted, I think I saw him glance over for the acknowledgement nod.





During this procedure there is a level of torture that is going on as well. Lori was losing it as the ticklish spots were shown some attention. She had the one guy working there and he had us in stitches...so funny!!! When my girl got out the heavy duty emery board I know felt what Lori was feeling, it was about sending me out of my chair!!! Seriously, this was a form of torture...it was a combination of pain, pleasure and MORE PAIN!





Here's the thing, I have a *BAD* foot, ok, more like a *BAD SIDE OF MY BODY*...my left side. I have a missing sinus cavity on that side, I believe that ear is lower than the other, a closed fal.tube, minimal knee cartilage and then my thing of beauty...my BAD foot! My skin is HORID, cracked, broken open (now I'm being reminded of that detail) and my big toe is only connected at the base (it's been previously removed). So there ya go, fun facts about Amber you wish you didn't now know.





As she is getting herself stablized on her low rolling stool ( I think she had to lock in the wheels at this point) she dove into my DEATHLY DRY heel. She moved her way up to my big toe. At this point the flinching and the face squinching that I was trying to hide was noticed by Jan's girl. She asked me if it was hurting...with a smile on my face I tried to be brave but she quickly said something to my girl which made her stop and look up. I don't want to make her feel bad, I mean I had a feeling she had already been discouraged because she was now behind on the *Dead Skin Chart*...if only she had her own cheese grader!





Well it was too late, the pain was there, the skin was broken open and geez was it BURNING!!! I kept telling her it was ok, but really I was wondering if they offered an epidural at any time during this part. I guess not, so I jacked up the massage chair to distract me. Liz informed me that the chair might be too much , maybe I should just look up at the beautiful clouds that were painted on the ceiling and listen to the Karen Carpender song that was playing for us. I believe Lori's guy said he had requested it for us. DOES HE THINK WE ARE THAT OLD???!! So much for his tip!





Suckered into a another added on fee, I had my girl paint a little flower on my big toes. It's cute, a nice visual reminder of the pain I am STILL feeling as I have my left foot lathered in Neosporin and in a sock. It hurts to walk!!!





But here's the kicker of my SIGNATURE Pedicure adventure...just after I got settle into my stinkn' hot foot bath, figured out the remote for the massage chair ( do I want pounding, kneading, rolling, twisting or turning... on my legs, lumbar, middle back or shoulders...GEEZ TOO MANY OPTIONS HERE!) worked, I gently placed my cell phone in my lap.





Oh yea, you can figure this next part out. Since I choose the Medley Message, the pounding, kneading, rolling, twisting, turning and shaking and shimmy-ing came ALL AT ONCE. The girations send my phone into a nose dive for the scalding foot bath...KER-PLUNK!!!! I just starred at it as it hit the bottom. If I dove in after it, the skin of my hands might have melted off. It was a quick moment that seemed like minutes as my sweet girl took the risk to set her own life aside and go in after it. She had a moment with it, rubbing it, trying to stimulate life. But it was too late, the damage was done. It gave one last vibrate and gave up.





So there it was...that was the BEGINNING of my SIGNATURE Pedi, I should have known this wasn't going to be cheap. I'm off to the phone store with my $2.50 Old Navy flip flops on showing off my little flower, hopefully my left foot will stay in, all this Neosporin makes this quite slippery...I can see it now...my adventure to the phone store...

Who's idea was this anyway??? :)